I’ve never swallowed cun before; with my previous boyfriend, I was never even able to get him off from a blowjob. We just separated, and now there is some heavy sexual tension between a friend and I. He’s very dominant, and I love it. However, I always balk when he talks about face-fucking me.. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to handle it, and I get embarrassed very easily. Do you have any advice or a relatable ecperience? I really want to experience as much as I can. Thank you in advance!

My first advice is to read everything you just wrote me back to yourself.

Now, accept those things about yourself – because none of those things have to be negative. 

“I’ve never swallowed cum before.”

Awesome! There has to be a first for everything, and it’s an honor to be the first sperm in a girl’s tummy. I can tell your nervous and excited, and that’s perfectly fine and normal.

“never…(got) him off from a blowjob.”

That’s not a measure of success. That your previous boyfriend didn’t cum in your mouth may men that you just need a little more practice, or it might mean that your boyfriend was never going to cum in your mouth no matter how hard your tied. But that’s the head you gave. Past. It has nothing to do with the head you’re going to give

“(h)e’s very dominant… and I love it.”

You love the dominant nature of your friend, enough that you are seeking advice on the best way to serve him from your knees. I’m excited that you’re discovering this part of your sexuality! I encourage you to think about what it is that excites you about being with someone dominant. For some it’s giving up control, some it’s being humiliated, for some it’s serving someone, so some it’s turning off thoughts in favor of sensation – there are many motivations for someone to become interested in BDSM. Explore yours. 

“I always balk when he talks about face-fucking me.”

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it.”

Of course you’re afraid and nervous! You’ve never had a penis ejaculate in your mouth, and you want to do a good job. I’d feel the same way. What if he doesn’t cum? What if it’s too much? What if it tastes gross? You know what though? Nervous apprehension can be fucking hot in role play – and yours is genuine. That’s a gift, not a liability.

“I get embarrassed very easily.”

Talk about it. The girl I write about the most in my stories had never been face fucked. She was worried in much the same way – I can’t tell you how hot that conversation was, when she told me she wanted to push it. She still gags and chokes, but she can giggle about it, and it’s part of our play. 

Being naked, gagging on cock, and retching on cum are activities which are inherently vulnerable. Embarrassment can be a huge turn on, too. In fact, it may be no coincidence that your girl parts are getting all noted up when you talk to your dominant friend. The vulnerability experienced in giving up control is certainly a part of the experience for many subs.

“I want to experience as much as I can.”

A girl that’s open to experience is a blank slate. Domination, for me, is rooted deeply in a desire for control – and I can hardly be given more control than an eager little tabula rasa. For me, this is the hottest thing you wrote.

Nonetheless, I encourage you to set limits with anyone you’re really going to play with. Those are not questions to ask during sex. Boundaries are fun. I like to know where they are, so that I can rub them raw.

The next thing I want you to do is share this with the Dom whose semen you can’t quite stop thinking about swallowing.

Communication and trust. If you want to get what you want, safely, it always circles back to communication and trust. I don’t care if that sounds boring.

Has he earned your trust? Do you trust him to take both sides of your head and fuck the snot out of your face? Has he earned your first attempt at putting sperm in your tummy?  

He should be eager to drive you at the pace you want. He needs to be comfortable stepping on the accelerator, and you need to know where the brake pedal is.

Doms are in control (though, until you really trust someone, that control should be in role play complete with safe word & signal, not actual physical restraints), and part of the responsibility that comes with that control is making sure that you are safe and satisfied.

I’m flattered you sought my advice. I love hearing from my followers, and enjoy talking about oral sex and BDSM. Please write back and let me know how it went.

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